I’ve been looking forward to two full days on site at the Broad last Wednesday and Thursday for weeks: to in-person meetings with colleagues; food trucks; improv, mindfulness; getting out of the condo!! At work, I waited until lunch to do my self-swab test, popping into the testing room right before grabbing Thai chicken for lunch with a friend. Then at home I blew off checking my PCR results until just before I went to bed that night, even though I’d gotten the text hours earlier (probably about the time I was eating dinner together with Nyiri at our small-ish dining room table).

I was completely unprepared for a red “Positive for SARS Cov19” notification on my phone screen. I briefly entertained the idea that this was a false positive, that the Broad’s PCR test was wrong. I looked at the screen on my phone for a full five minutes before reacting.

Denying you’re sick is understandable when you feel fine

Truly, I had zero symptoms. I only discovered I had Covid because my work is still testing everyone weekly. Not many places are. I am betting at least half the people who think they haven’t had Covid yet actually have had it at some point. They just don’t know it, and never will.

I’m not known for my betting skills, but I do think this is a solid bet. Even the CDC estimates many more people have had Covid than positive tests would indicate.

Precautions, but not really cautious

I did do the obvious things: donned a fresh N95 mask from the bathroom drawer, reached out to Novavax to let them know, cancelled my Thursday in-person meetings.

But I was not as cautious as I could have been. Because for me, Covid has been no big deal when I’ve had it. In fact, my symptoms have gotten a little easier every single time. To the point where I didn’t actually have any symptoms this time around until Thursday, when I was a bit tired by the afternoon.

I was treating Covid like a cold.

Until my daughter asked for space when I got close to her washing dishes in the sink and I realized how awfully casual I was being. I backed away from the sink and headed upstairs, opened all the windows I could (glad that the weather was decent) and moved my stuff into the guest bedroom and guest bathroom.

Novavax trial acute visit

I emailed my study trial contact and sent a screenshot of my positive PCR test. Interestingly, there’s no protocol for flagging asymptomatic people. But because I had a positive test result, they called me in Thursday morning, and I got to meet with the study PI. We chatted about the ever-changing Covid, and how hard it is to keep study protocols current.

I learned how important it is to be hyper aware of small, incremental differences from baseline: that tiny hint of a dry cough, that slightly runny nose, is actually a symptom. Note to self: rapid test even when you think you’re just tired, have a cold, suffering from allergies.

You never know how it will be for the person you could infect

I’ve I quickly pivoted, but I wish I’d been more proactive right away. I wish I had thought about my daughter first. She’s home from college and has managed to avoid infection so far. It’s not that hard for me to isolate – I work from home and home has plenty of space. I was feeling fine and it didn’t really register that I could hurt her or others.

I’m glad she had the sense to put me in my place, so I can be more careful until I rapid test negative twice (hopefully in a few days).

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